Aphrodite’s curse


65kg

You dare to talk about the psyche?
You think I lack stamina for twenty-five push-ups?
What do you know of a woman?
Are you thinking of Psycho as Isolde
Or Juliet perhaps?
The ones who received Aphrodite’s curse
To be beautiful, but lonely?
She’s a vengeful bitch
But still so pretty…
Now go and look where her hands are…
I, The Goddess Of Yelling, I… scream
DIE and dumbbells drop
They call me Dame Judi Dench of the gym
I cut off The Venus’ limbs with my voice
Inside I’m just a few pieces of broken statue
I want to be like Aphrodite of Milo
To be sold to the French at a good price
If only some farmer from Melos had unearthed me
Like her, I’d be in the Louvre, beautiful and exposed
Instead, I sweat and toil in a man-made gymnasium
Counting to ten over and over

Runkeeper 6.2 miles practising, 1sy day, Saturday morning acca Now*update


5miles1night

On one hand, running 6.2 miles demands your respect and attention, but on the other, it isn’t so far that you can’t train for it and run several 10Ks in one season. It’s one step beyond the 5K and a great segue to the half or full marathon distance. …

On average, casual runners are usually able to finish a 10k race in 50 to 70 minutes. The median time it takes a woman to run a 10k is a little more than 64 minutes

As a short distance runner type I chose this distance as my discipline.. and as a great biker and non – swimmer, too : ) for reason unknown, good swimmers are usually awful runners.

Fitnes pesma/Boris K. in the gym


Neuhvatljive, živahne kretnje, stopala…
kao konji ljuti što beze u galopu
pljusak snage, beli smeh u vetru
otvoreni brzaci, prostor nastanjen težinama
lepet tegova zbraja i potire uspone i padove
a duša je u skladu sa zadovoljnim telom

Presvučena znojem, kao svilom,
podizem težinu visoko prema nebu.
čini se da je vežbacka rutina
puna rastanaka
od uspona na kojima bih mogla ostati.

https://wordpress.com/stats/post/8895/leilasamarrai.wordpress.com

 

 

Boris K. In the Gym or”Something is rotten in the state of Denmark”

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark”, From Shakespeare’s play Hamlet (1.4), Marcellus to Horatio.

Boris K. took the “Mens sana in corpore sano” mantra deadly seriously and was on his way to the nearest gym. Out of sheer excitement, he forgot the towel. Truth be told, Boris K. never really sweated, what’s more the doctors diagnosed him with some armpit gland defect. He wore his tracksuit that he usually wore when he went to the farmer’s market and had sneakers on, clean, but with a tiny hole on their side.

The moment he stepped into the luxury space, akin to the gyms of Los Angeles where the Japanese Yakuza work out, the treadmill caught his attention. As he was running, green pastures went through his head where he soared as a child, running after a ball.

“Boris, get the ball!” he remembered the voice of his uncle Ivan The Terrible Fisherman, who often took him fishing.

He ran faster, catching the ball in his thoughts. Giggling, he lifted his arms up and whispered: “Death to fascism, freedom to the people”, respecting the house rules.

Luckily, others noticed the new workout guy, others who ran along the treadmill with light steps, wiping off the invisible sweat, exchanging many a word between one another:

“Sweetheart, I have discovered the Café Menstrualle. You pop one Café Menstrualle and no more ovary pain.”

“Such nice people, these folks”, he thought after a thirty minute cardio workout, ran his fingers through his odorous hair, with but a hint of sweat to it. He reeked of sweat and it felt good to him.

As he was fantasizing about making “Rocky VII”, a young man of 25-ish approached him, dark curly-haired, engulfed in a strong perfume, with buff arms, a square Lego torso and short legs, and he whispered into his ears words that almost froze Boris K. solid.

“Good evening”, he shook his hand with his own, dry chapped one. “I am Boris K.”

The trainer shook hands, unknowingly stepping away from Boris K., while down his tiny wrinkle on his young forehead, born out of constant frowning and grimacing, sweat poured.

“Forgive me, sir, but you stink. All the other folks that are working out are complaining about you.”

Boris turned around himself, sensing the sweat and the hostile looks. He shook.

“Male or female?” he applied logic.

“Both sexes.”

workout_room_zombies

He felt being bathed in cold sweat. As if something had been crushing him bone by bone, his field of vision narrowed. Him? He never broke a sweat. Even when he had to go to the doctor’s.

“What?”, Boris K. looked at him nearly maniacally.

“Nothing”, he said and wiped the sweat of his forehead. Catching glimpse of this motion, Boris K. facepalmed, merely uttering that he did not bring a towel which he would use to clear any doubt-raising link between him and sweat.

“Mistah Trainah, I have never once in my life…stunk, not even had a hint of an odor…and even if I did – is this not the right spot for it?” Boris K. was pulling these and similar arguments while counting the seconds in his head, bouncing the words around under his tongue, gulping, until finally he bent the knee and admitted defeat.

He was certain that he did not break a sweat, but this young trainer, who was a bodybuilder for at least a decade, certainly knew everything there was to know about stench.

“I’ve been wrongly accused!”, a slight rise in his tone.

The trainer shrugged and clenched his fists. The other customers started approaching with menacing faces. Boris K. noticed that he’s in a pinch and tried to apply some strategy. He smiled, to which the customers stepped back. Boris K. noticed that the workout gear was unoccupied, seeing as the people using them were surrounding him, therefore nobody was there using them. He felt the uncalm and the desire to leave, but he couldn’t leave well enough alone. He had firmly decided to continue the discussion with the discount Tommy Gann here by any means necessary, come hell or high water.

He felt that he was about to cry any minute. He held himself with both arms, comforting himself gently as the trainer, his voice a chill, suggested that he brought a towel next time, more modern sneakers and a Dolce & Gabbana tracksuit, like the ones other customers had. For a while he trembled out of confusion, uneasiness, he even wanted to cry. He cursed all the towels of God’s green Earth. He shook away the invisible sweat off of himself as the in-full-make-up female customers, casting a glance or two in his general direction, glared at him scornfully. One observed the sole of his left sneaker. Rolling her eyes, she whispered something to the lummox next to her who looked at Boris K., as if ready to crush him. Boris K. was smiling. He went out into the street shook up, confused, disturbed and offended, realizing that there was a stench there and that the trainer was absolutely correct.

“I know what it was! It was the scent of rot!”, he concluded, and stepped into the dark streets towards a new comedy.

Tomorrow Boris K. purchased a café menstrualle deciding that, as soon as he gets the right opportunity, he would complain to other customers at the gym about the pain in his ovaries.

human-skull-fitness-dumbbells-bottle-water-blue-background-36369475

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Atten – hut!


Uskoro cemo upoznati gospodjicu koja na pokretnoj traci zivota nosi poruku u obliku treninga na traci, ali ta vrsta trake se nije vidjala ranije… Uskoro cemo videti kakva je to vrsta trake i sta je gospodjoca uradila povodom toga – osudjena na vecni kardio u jednoj veoma bizarnoj teretani koja se zove Zona sumraka.

snapshots:

Trening za odagnati sablazan (sve vrste sablazni)


Odlucila sam da postavim video klip nakon sto sam tokom jutarnjeg dzoginga koji je bio propracen kucecim lavezom (copor pasa koji me prati i lavez mi nije smetao koliko sledece–) bila zaustavljena od mladjeg celavka u fensi kolima i koznjaku, tuzne trogloditske face koji me je video da dzogiram uskim ulicicama na periferiji gde je ova pojava strana… i pitao me, sto je gore, dekoncentrisao me, zaustavivsi auto i davajuci signal sirenom… “Izvini, jel tebi dobro?”

“Džogiram”, sklanjam slusalice s usiju, uske ulicice s izrazajnim nizbrdicama i uzbrdicama su prometne, ali to njemu ne smeta, cudno mu to…

“Ali, zar po ‘ladnoći”

“Jesi li cuo za dzogiranje? Jel ja tebi izgledam kao neko kome nije dobro? Jel si cuo za zadihanost, za pauzu da se dodje do daha? Da me niti sneg niti led nece spreciti da trcim kad mi se trci? Da ljudi trce zimi? Da ljudi dzogiraju, pa se i zadisu”

Zbrisao je… dao gas. Jos ce da pomisli: Eto tako mi treba kad pitam, kad brinem o dobrobiti sugradjana, kad sam fin…  To nezaustavljivo sledi.

Odlucila sam, nakon toga, da nekako dzogiram u kuci i nasla sam nacin…