Keeping it up with time 


https://leilasamarrai.wordpress.com/2017/10/25/my-short-story-keeping-up-with-time-was-published-in-culturecult-magazines-issue-8/

I was thirty two years old when I started writing this story. Alas, incredible things happened since then. Because of the law of Higher age requirement for woman retirement, my mother had to be older than she is in order to retire on time. Luckily, doctor Hatchinson was our distant cousin and through the local fortune teller and spirit medium he was giving us detailed directions on how to grow old precisley. We discovered the gene for rapid aging in our family laboratory and we were taking it in the shape of oral pills in the morning and in the evening. My hair line was thiner and thiner by the day, but inspite of that I managed to recieve a passport issued due to the papers showing an urgent demand for one.Older than I was, I was being taken more seriously at the bakeries. Decrees of rapid reform change were increasing in numbers, so we had to grow older faster.That is how me managed to keep up with them, all with the goal of liberating the human spirit. We had enormous expences , for we considered you should be old but not wrinkled, because we spent a lot of money on skin tucks, botox, silicone implants. We lost our property, the house was put under mortgage because of the expences our vanity put on us. But, we had our pension, we had our passport. We are also threatened by an approaching, invetable death. My face says that a lot of time passed since this story started, but I am still thirty two years old. And I am dying.

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Flash Fiction + Biography Of a Misfit


2011

Won three awards on the story competition “3-5-7” as a part of the “Helly Cherry” competition

 

  1. (…) 
One day he merely ended it, period. Underlined it, too.

2. Departing the star from the Magellanic Clouds. 
And there was supernova.
***
Leila Samarrai, a misfit among authors, managed to host her misfitting poetic nature in genres spanning 5 to 100.000 words. A poet of Himalayan seclusion, she was born in Belgrade in 1976
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Boris K. and Wig Heil


 

The minister of culture and minority rights Cris Is Evayzhun was walking along the Phenomenonpublic boulevard with parliament member Iana Goatson (of GOAT – Government Approved Thou-shall-nots, as well as CleronationalVoxPIOUpuli ), his wife, and he plucked away from the rich history of Germany.

As the minister was shifting from one Nazi topic to the next, from the Big bang onward, out of the darkness crept Boris K. and with a swift “SiegHeil!” he tripped the minister who lay prostrate on the golden pavements of Phemonenonpublic.

“The minister is down!”

“They killed the minister!”

A trudge of steps ensued. A mass of people stood around the minister Cris Is Evayzhun,

“Help! An urgent republic matter! Dial 333-222. Assassination!”

Xavier, a gypsy youth, who begged for money in the graveyard shift, pulled a moist towelette from his bag with a swift motion and applied it to the spot on the minister’s leg which was sore.

Boris K. took a photo of this touching scene with his Motorola. The minister’s wife was thrilled.

“If I had a son like this, I would dress him up in the style of Albert, prince consort of Windsor”, she thought and much to her husband’s dismay she loudly blurted out:

“I want a son like this.”

Xavier responded:

“Ah, if only I had a mother like you.”

Boris K. remembered and told a touching story of the love one father had towards his son – one of the many tales he picked up somewhere during his life – as the foreign minister tried choking him.

The story went on for hours, until the Emergency vehicle came with a stretcher and took away the minister who was howling in pain and cursing the very name of Boris K.

A month later, coming back from the WIG Heil general tryouts, the minister and the minister’s adviser for the rights of minority  Boris K. looked at a Gipsy woman sitting in front of the firecracker store and some cheap Chinese pyrotechnics.

“This Republic is going to pieces. An open market to any and all crap”, minister Cris is Evayzhun mumbled, looking at the Gipsy woman in a manner – was there any other, really? – not unlike that of a Nazi. “Nobody can control the quality of the merchandise (and people) which flows into our beloved Phenomenonpublic. While somewhere up there in Germany Berlin is on fire, I see everything around here!”

“Calm down and extend your palm”, the Gypsy woman smiled to the minister who was dreaming that he had his own panzer divisions in the Kriegsmarine. “In your past life you were a crazed SS commander”, the Gypsy woman started. “Now you are just a bozo whom an adopted child will make feel happy”.

The minister waved his head in disbelief. How can she know all this? He didn’t even giver her his palm.

The Gypsy woman continues palm-reading as if she were in a trance.

“We have to move to the front door ahead of a dangerous gang”, she spoke with a cracked voice. A few moment later there were gunshots. Boris K. and the Gypsy woman and the minister went into the front door, until the street situation calmed.

Six months later, the minister, his wife and their son – little Xavier – were walking along the boulevard.

Boris took the money from Iana Goatson, since she hired him to trick the minister. The Gypsy woman, Xavier’s mom was disguised as a fortune teller, got an apartment in the name of her remaining ten kids. Boris K. soon paid the fellows who were reenacting a mobster showdown, he purchased a luxury three room apartment for about a year and continued nailing the role of Hitler.

 

A CASE FROM A YELLOW PRESS


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Chinese president Su Thong gave a statement for the yellow press yesterday that he would ensure the elongation of the Great Chinese Wall which would then serve to reroute all the possible issues into the right direction. A dog and two blind men, one of who was a murderer, supported him in this endeavors…

The amendment has still been considered, however the Chinese are still pretending to be the Englishmen. Anyhow, Su Thong (and we wouldn’t make a criticall error if it would be Jintao Sinjang) explicitly thought on good things. The Chinese only need to understand it.

The next day, those Chinese who lived in the parts close to the Wall didn’t find it where it should have been. Instead, the Wall appeared on the opposite end of the world. AmidstHollywood, in the middle of the yard where married couple, an actor Quini Doyl and actress Many Hoyl have lived. Each of the media gave different announcement, and indictments started to hail…